I decided to be a very good friend and send Carla her box today that’s been sitting in my closet for 3 months. So I get home from class and fetch the box and dump out all it’s random, happy contents on my bed. Then AHHHH!!!
There’s two monster cockroaches scurrying all over my bed! AHHH!!
I’m screaming like a crazy woman. I don’t know what to do. Stacy hears me screaming and doesn’t know what to do either.
I run downstairs and get the broom and vacuum, our cockroach killing weapons. I come back and they’ve creeped under my bed, where they lie with the extra mattress.
By now I have begun sweating profusely and my heart is racing like mad.
At this point we realize we have to tear my bed apart. I take off each piece of bedding piece by piece to make sure it is roach free. I take the mattress off. No roaches yet. Then I slowly start moving the bed around…
The fatty roach comes out, and fast. He dashes for the closet. Bugger. Still screaming a lot and seriously sweating a lot a lot. Stacy does the usual man scream. We know he’s in the closet so I move my tote on the closet floor. There he is, the freaking fatty roach ruining my morning.
I try and get him with the vacuum. Unsuccessful. He just runs up my closet wall to who knows where. Devastated, and scared out of our minds. We focus our efforts on roach #2.
I move the bed around some more and he comes out, makes a mad dash across the floor to the other side of the room, into my pile of bedding. It becomes time for prayer #1. Shirt and forehead becoming drenched with sweat, and heart about to beat out of my chest, I ask Heavenly Father to help us kill the cockroaches. He always helps and I knew I could ask Him to help us kill them, since I currently have no home teachers to come over and do it. :)
I use the vacuum hose to inspect each sheet and pillow and blanket. Stacy stays armed with the broom. Relocate the bedding when we realize he’s not in here. The little devil is in the corner, behind my craft basket and yoga mat. We move the stuff and he come running out again headed for under the bed. We’re screaming and jumping.
Stacy really came through here. Broom in hand she had direct hit after direct hit on mister roach. Dead. Hallelujah. Her heart is beating faster than ever and she’s sweating a bit too. But not nearly as much as me. Please notice my sweaty self in the picture below. Really? Yes.
Now back to fatty monster roach. We think he’s in the other box in the top of my closet, where other roaches might reside too. I’m so scared to dump that box down. I picture tons of cockroaches squirming around all over my floor and I picture Stacy trying to whack them with the broom as I throw down heavy textbooks. I can’t get myself to knock that box down. Prayer #2 comes in. I still can’t do it. So scared.
Stacy girl does what has to be done in crisis situations such as this. She knocks the box down. I scream and jump and rummage through the box with the broom handle. There’s no roach there, which means he’s still in the closet somewhere.
We look all around but he’s nowhere to be found. That means he snuck into the walls or ceiling and is still creeping around probably making more roach babies. That is not awesome.
I don’t really want to sleep in my room tonight. Good thing I’ll be back in Alaska land in a few weeks, far away from all these nasty roaches. I’m still so creeped out. I’m so glad Sister was here though, because this was the most traumatic cockroach episode of my life.
